Miss You So Much
by EdwardsLily
Summary: Renesmee desperately needs eggs. So does Angela. Two people who thought they would never see each other again have a sad little two-shot reunion in the middle of a grocery store. Full summary inside
1. Chapter 1

Full summary:

Two years after Bella's change, the Cullens are still all living in Forks. Bella and Edward are happy and paternal, and Jake and Nessie act like dumb teenagers, so all is well in the world. But that day, there was no one who could go on a run to the grocery store. And they really, really needed eggs. And it just so happened that Angela, also, was making cookies. Written to satisfy my inner angsty teen.

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**Prologue**

"Mom!" Renesmee called, from the kitchen. "Need you!"

"What?"I closed _Wuthering Heights_ and cocked my head in her direction.

"Do we have eggs?"

Sighing, I pulled myself upright and headed over to join her in the kitchen. "I don't know, Nessie. If we do, they're in the fridge. You know where they are."

"I looked in the fridge. There was an egg carton in there." My two-year-old daughter stood in front of the fridge, her hands on her hips, wearing a designer apron that my over-the-top sister-in-laws tailored especially to fit her ten-year-old body. She looked at me through narrowed, suspicious eyes.

"Then we have eggs." I smiled gently, wondering if this was one of her terrible-two moments. She was normally quite rational, but sometimes her age got the better of her.

"No." She turned to me and opened the carton, pouting. "I don't think that these are eggs, Mom. I could be wrong – it's usually Jake who does the eggs. But these don't seem right."

I leaned in to see. There were in fact egg-shaped objects in each cup of the egg carton, but the resemblance stopped there. Renesmee was right – real eggs don't look like Alice's oversized Swarovski tree ornaments. I knew Alice hid her crystals well, but I'd never really wondered about the extra egg carton in the fridge. "That would be Alice."

Nessie laughed. "I need eggs, Mom. I promised Jake I would make him cookies for his birthday. You can't make cookies without them."

My heart sank. "When is he coming over?"

"In two hours. Mom, can't you just run and get some?"

My mind raced. How could Alice not have seen this? Nobody was at home except for me and Nessie. I would have called, but they were all otherwise occupied. The boys were on a hunting trip. Alice and Rosalie were out for a weekend in L.A. Esme was at her gardening club and wouldn't be for another two hours. I couldn't make Jacob get eggs for his own birthday cookies. Besides, he's busy with the pack. And Nessie was just too young to go to the store by herself.

"Nessie, you know I'm not supposed to be seen out in public." I was _supposed_ to be dead.

"Mom," she whined. "This is really important. You can go quickly, I know you can. Put on some makeup. Borrow some of Alice's clothes. I bet she has something laid out for you – she wouldn't forget about that."

Maybe Alice would be prepared. She didn't forget things like that. Nessie grabbed my hand and dragged me upstairs to Alice and Jasper's room. There was a black bag sitting outside the door with my name on it. I scooped it up and my daughter followed me all the way up the stairs to me and Edward's room. Inside, I dropped the bag on my bed and opened it. I looked at Alice's supplies with disgust, and Nessie giggled – the sound of an angel.

"Mom? Can I come with you, please?"

Do I blame what happened on Alice? Absolutely, I do.

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The next chapter will be full-lengthed and up by at least two am tonight.


	2. Eggland's Best remembering you

**Eggland's Best [remembering you]**

With one arm, I scoop up the baby, and with the other, a pile of dirty sheets. I dump him into his high chair and toss the old bedding down into the basement with all the other undone laundry. Justin is eight months old, now, and has gained enough of a sense of balance to be able to move around in his chair. When fussing doesn't get my attention, he throws his spoon at me. I grab his bottle from the refrigerator and try not to throw it at him before starting the coffee pot.

Ben comes tripping downstairs five minutes later, and comes up behind me to kiss me. I smile at him wearily and hold out his coffee mug. "You should have woken me up, Ange," he says, taking it gratefully.

You should have been up, fool. I shrug and wipe down the counter, where I spilled the milk. Justin starts whining again.

Ben picks him up and bounces him a few times on his hip while I rummage in the fridge for something to eat. "What time did you say Jess is coming today?"

"She said she and Mike will be in around two. They're flying in from California, and I have to go pick them up in Port Angeles."

"Okay." I keep scanning the shelves. "What were you planning on feeding them?"

Ben holds out the bottle to Justin, who takes it happily and chucks it at me. "They're not expecting us to feed them. They're staying with the Newtons, and they know you don't have much time on your hands. I thought we could just have like… cookies and coffee, or something."

"We don't have eggs. Can you pick some up on your way back from Lowes this afternoon?"

"Sorry, babe. Mom's car is getting fixed so I have to take Justin over to her myself. Otherwise I would."

I rub my eyes blearily. It's seven o'clock on a Saturday morning. I'm not going to pretend this is where I imagined myself to be when I was back in high school. I thought the marriage and the baby might wait. It's not like I'm unhappy, it's just that sometimes I envy Jessica and Mike, who decided to get married after college, instead of in lieu of college. It's probably better for them – they both need to mature a little. And Ben had his job lined up already…

"Okay. I'll get them while you're out"

"I could go now, if you want…"

"No, that's fine. Really." I like grocery shopping now. It gives me some time to myself. "I have to get the pork roast started, and then I'm just going to straighten up a little bit around here before I go. "

"What can I do to help?"

I badly need a shower and I need a few moments to put my head back together and wake myself up properly. "I'm going to go up and get dressed. Can you please feed Justin, and change him? I put clothes out for him already, but I couldn't find shoes. I thought I put them in his bottom drawer…"

"Got it." Ben kisses me softly around our son, who pulls my hair. We both laugh a little, and then I go upstairs to try to collect myself.

***

Five hours later, I have my clothes on properly, my hair dry, and a decently clean house. Ben's taken the baby to his mother's house, and in an hour, he'll be going off to fetch Jessica and Mike. I'm at the grocery store, in the heat and warmth that takes me away from the cold, drizzly March air for a few, blessed minutes. A trip that turned into a quick egg run has evolved into The Shopping List of Doom that I'm sure any mother – maybe any house owner can associate with.

_Tide, orange juice, bagels, butter, milk, Kleenex, pencils, razors, sponges, pineapple, baking powder, shampoo, strawberry jam…_ If I'm lucky, I'll remember the eggs.

I pass familiar faces as I walk down familiar aisles. Tyler, with a ridiculously pregnant Lauren. Some evil little spark inside me makes me happy that she looks so upset with being fat. Charlie Swan, who looks remarkably chipper for a man who's been through so much lately. Mr. Banner, who stands in the middle of the condom aisle. I avert my eyes quickly. Bella, who manages to look ridiculously beautiful when dressed in the mismatched clothes of a homeless man and with her face dirty and smeared with street grime. She looks around fugitively and presses herself up close against the shelves, like she thinks they can hide her. She carries a shopping basket gingerly, like she doesn't know what to do with it. I smile at her in passing and her wide, honey-colored eyes get bigger with surprise.

Wait… Bella?

"Bella?" I gasp, turning around to stare at her. She stands, frozen, looking back at me blankly. A lump wells in my throat. I haven't seen her in two years. She's supposed to be dead. I wonder if baby-induced sleep loss is making me crazy.

I think for a moment that she's going to talk to me, but instead she keeps walking like she doesn't even know who I am. Maybe I _am_ seeing things. I tell myself that I won't follow her, though the temptation is strong. But I find myself inadvertently walking a careful three paces behind her. And I realize we're both heading toward the dairy.

I take that time to study the back of her. Her hair is still long and glossy, but now it's also horribly matted and tangled. Odd, that it should be so shiny if it's in such allegedly bad shape. And though her clothes are ill-sized, ripped, and dirty, they still look like designer clothes. Not her own. They clearly belong to a man, maybe Emmett-sized. And under the dirt, they're too white. It's like she only rubbed on one layer of grime. Underneath, I can see that the rumples are too smooth, and that the stain is only on one level. It's with a trained eye that I see there are no underlying grease stains or grass marks or food spills that have actually rubbed into the fabric.

We both stop in front of the giant refrigerated glass doors that house the dairy and egg products. Trying not to stare, I get my butter, my milk, and a package of cream cheese. And when I can avoid it no longer, I turn to the egg display. She's still standing, staring at it like she has no idea what she's looking at.

"Excuse me," I mutter, shoving past her. I at least know what I want. She watches me warily as I grab a carton of Eggland's Best and add it to my cart.

"Angela?" she says quietly.

It's my turn to freeze as her voice washes over me, so familiar and yet so foreign. It has a note to it that was never there before – it reminds me of music now.

I turn to look at her. "Yes?"

She gnaws her full lower lip like she always did when we were in school, and I have no doubt anymore that she is who I think she is. She's looking at me with wide, timid eyes, and the lump in my throat comes back. Impossible.

"Um." She brushes a greasy strand of hair out of her face. "Would you recommend Eggland's Best?"

"What?" Of all the questions to ask.

"I haven't bought eggs in so long. I don't even know what to look for."

"Oh. Um. Yeah. Sure." As I watch, she reaches out for a carton like mine. She holds it so loosely that I fear it will drop from her hand. I know Bella. Bella is the least coordinated person ever. But she puts it without problem – almost _gracefully_ – into her basket.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

I wonder if she sees confusion in my face. It looks for a moment like she's going to walk away, but she doesn't. There is an awkward pause between us.

"Aren't you supposed to be dead?"

Bella looks at me in amusement. "Aren't you supposed to be at school?"

I frown. The two are barely parallel. "Can't. Baby got in the way." I eye her slender waist. Funny. Her frame has changed. She looks more like Rosalie now.

"I know how that goes." She laughs easily and looks at the diapers in my cart.

"What, the baby kept you alive?"

"In a sense." She fingers a strand of hair absently. I keep frowning.

"Bella, I –"

"What?"

"I…" Tears prick my eyes. "I've missed you. So much."

Her casual expression melts away and she looks just as sad as I feel. "I know, Angela. I miss you, too."

"Why don't you come home with me? I could get you cleaned up, find you some clothes. Jess and Mike are coming home from California this weekend. We could all meet up."

"No."

The sharpness of her refusal makes me shiver.

"Absolutely not."

"Bella…?"

"I'm supposed to be dead, remember?"

"But you're clearly not." I try to reach for her hand, and she flinches away from me.

"No, Angela. I'm dead. You didn't even see me here today."

"What are you hiding from?" I ask, a little desperately. I don't want Bella to run away again. I run a distressed hand through my hair, noticing how much nicer Bella's hair is, even in its sordid state. "Why are you… faking this? We all miss you. We all want you back."

When she speaks, it is seemingly with great effort. "I can't come back, Angela. For all normal purposes, I was never here. I'm not hiding from anything. I'm living my life the way I was meant to. Can't you leave it at that? It would be better if you hadn't seen me here."

"No!" I can't explain the emotions rushing through me. I must be crazy. This is all a dream. Justin hasn't woken yet, and I was up too late. I do get crazy dreams when I'm sleep deprived. "I don't want you to leave again."

Her fingers are reassuringly cool and solid on my wrist. Something about the touch of her skin makes me think of Alice. I haven't seen Alice since the wedding either. "So don't think about it," Bella says softly.

"No. Please. Tell me what's going on. I miss you. I need to know."

Her eyes convey more pain, sympathy, and understanding than the eyes of a girl her age should be able to hold. Bella is clearly not the same anymore. I just can't figure out what the difference is. "I should go."

"Don't go!"

"I need to get these eggs back to Nessie," she says evenly. "She's waiting for me at home."

"Nessie? Is that your daughter?"

She smiles quickly.

"Bella, please."

"Angela…" She searches for the right words. "Things have changed. I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to tell you goodbye properly, and that I never will. It's not right for me to be in your world anymore. As much as I would love to stay and catch up…"

She's gone as quickly as I can blink. Tears well in my throat and I hurried toward the check out, blinking them away. If it weren't for the ghost feeling of her cool fingers wrapped around my wrist, I'd think I'd just dreamed that whole thing.

I actually cry when I make the cookies. Before Jess and Mike come over, I look at my senior yearbook, something I haven't done in ages.

"_Ange – it was so great knowing you these past few years. Even though I wasn't always with it all the way, you were always there to support me and for that I am eternally grateful. On this graduation day we're both about to start different phases of our lives. No matter how weird and desperate things get, don't you dare change. I won't forget about you. Ever._

_Good luck with Ben, and college, and… life. I'll see you on the other side._

_Love, Bella."_

I'd never noticed before how final it was. I'd just assumed it was senior-itis.

Justin starts squalling and I hurry up to his room. Things are different now. Very different. We've both gone our separate ways.

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**Long A/N: Thanks all so much for your reviews and your favorites and your alerts. I know I'm just about the least worthy author out there. The thing is, come that "two am" deadline I promised, I was having horrible writer's block, and I told myself I'd do it later. But then I sort of had a falling out with Twilight in general, and I thought for sure that this fic would never be finished.**

**In fact, this fic is not finished. I basically just put up what I did have at that 2 am deadline, after adding a few words that I hoped would make it sound more completed-ish. I'm not happy with it at all. It has to be the dumbest ending ever - you know it is because I literally wrote it in thirty seconds. But I'd gotten enough reviews asking about a sequel... Here it is. I'm sorry to all of you that it sucked so much. For future record, all my Twilight fics are on an indefinite hiatus but I encourage any of you Potterheads to check out my HP fics.**

**Thanks for your patience and support.**

**Love, Lily**


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